Ebook Review...

Dream Knight by Lois Bonde

An Ellora’s Cave Quickie

Scottish Highlands-1715

Desperate, Catherine escapes from her castle the night before she is to wed the brute who will take over her estates. Before she returns to honor the dreaded commitment, she is determined to find a strong but gentle man to initiate her into the ways of men and women. She finds the perfect lover in her Dream Knight and treasures the memories of their sweet time together. But having fallen in love with a dream, Catherine dreads the thought of returning to wed the ogre. No longer a virgin, Catherine must face the fate she dreads.

Fiona’s back blurb: A (not really) dream and one badly violated apple.

{Readers of my blog may remember my reference to eBooks being the equivalent of horror movies…this book is why}

The story opens with Catherine escaping from her room in the castle. When Catherine laid out a red fox fur on her pillow to make it look like her hair and herself sleeping in the bed, I sat up and took notice. I think to myself, this is one smart character and obviously a writer who pays attention to detail. (I was deceived)

Very repetitive use of words: randy and randy in the same paragraph, find a way and make her way within the same sentence. “I never dreamed it could be like this. You’re so big, but I love taking every inch of you inside me like this.” (notice the repetition)

Catherine is escaping to find love before she has to marry the big oaf of her next door neighbor. Obviously my first thoughts were, “Duh, she’s going to meet her betrothed, have sex, leave him and then find out who he is.” Been there, done that. (Yep, I was right)

There was a perfect opportunity for Bonde to set up the two characters meeting with Catherine explaining to us that she is choosing to do this, just one day, just one moment in time, because this man is so handsome and so sensual but no, she rides into his camp unconscious (Why? Good question, never explained) and he takes her and then the rest of the story is me saying, “Bull Shit.”

“…never had he had a more cooperative woman.” That is because she was unconscious you IDIOT!

At the first mention of Catherine’s beautiful globes, I had to laugh and wonder just how bad the dialogue was going to get.

The cold water of the river made the sex scene completely unbelievable.

Hahaha, as I read this with all of the ach’s and ye’s and dinna’s and lassies I laugh picturing Maili’s head exploding!

They fed each other and then played with their food. “Holding a green bean in his mouth he leaned over so she could take the other end in hers. They each nibbled towards the center until the vegetable disappeared with a kiss.” I’m throwing up at this point.

And in a wonderful end, they love each other, after 12 hours and three poorly written sex scenes.

And even the sex couldn’t save this poor story. The characters were always in awkward positions that had me stopping and trying to figure out just how that would work. The scenes were mild and food was thrown in for shock value.

Dialogue in the book:

He insists on calling her “Sweetling” throughout the entire book…ugh!

“Her furred lips…” Furred? FURRED?

“Nay. Come for me. Now!” Twice people, twice.

Is ya a derivative of ye? I can understand using ye in the story, but “I love ya.” Is that correct?

It was a Quickie, so some lack of plot development should be chalked up to that. Also, there was a nice scene at the end where she is lifting her veil inch by slow inch…that was nice.

Grade: D

Grammatical Errors: 1

Going to buy next: Nothing.

…Fiona...