A mixture of romance, work and life left to simmer on a weak flame.

"Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker."--Unknown.

"I learned long ago that being Lewis Carrol was infinitely more exciting than being Alice."--Joyce Carol Oates

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Location: Florida, United States

Almost 30 and starting over...

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Thursday, June 22, 2006

Another week at Tara...

My mother is Scarlett reincarnate. She is a true southern belle, with all the panache and snottiness that comes with it.

I often wonder how I turned out the way I did with that woman raising me. After I say that my father and grandmother remind me that she wasn't the only one who had a hand in my raising...THANK GOD!

I love her. Really, I do. I think you reach a moment when you realize how much you love your mother and at that point you see her faults all the more clearer.

Enter Us into The Car Lot.

Aw Gawd Help Me.

We pull in and as we get out up walks Bubba, pulling up his pants and chewing on a toothpick.

Scarlett does not like Bubba.

Bubba shows us the Hyundai Sonata and the Optima and the New Van and the Tucson and the Sante Fe. Pointing out all the bells and whistles that come with each car, straining over Scarlett with his sweat soaked arms showing her how the windshield wipers work.

Scarlett was not happy.

Apparently Bubba got a feel of Scarlett's cold air and made the comment as she walked away that if she had a problem with him he could easily go get another dealer to help.

Not. A. Good. Idea. Bubba.

Scarlett whirled around and walked right back to Bubba. There they stood, chest to chest, a tub 'o lard and a chihuahua. With a slight tilt upwards with her nose Scarlett sniffs the air and then says in her sweetest, drawliest voice, "Bubba, this is what I want you to do. I want you to go inside (at this point she begins brushing the crumbs from his shirt), fix a nice big cold glass of water, sit down and relax. After all, you been out here working in this awful heat all day (now she is straightening his collar). And then, once you get nice and comfy in that big ole building with the air conditioning, I want you to look around at all the other salesmen in the building. Can you do that?"

Bubba shakes his head yes.

"And then I want you to ask another salesman who won't be intimidated by an educated woman who has done her homework and knows more about the car she's looking at than you do and send him out here to help me."

Bubba stares dumbfounded.

"Thanks darlin'," and with a final pat to his chest Scarlett whirled on her heel and pranced away.

*le sigh*

...Fiona...

12 touched me

Blogger Holly pondered...

I'm I going straight to hell for laughing at that story?

I'm just curious, you understand.

6/22/2006 05:35:00 PM  
Blogger Holly pondered...

That should have said, AM, not I'M..*sigh*

But really, growing up with the Devil Woman, I understand completely.

6/22/2006 05:35:00 PM  
Blogger Fickle Fiona pondered...

I don't know Holly but if you are you'll have company!

The funniest part of the story was the look in Linc's face. He's seen Scarlett in a tiff, but never has he seen the claws fully bared. It was hilarious. He was still talking about it this afternoon...LOL

6/22/2006 06:05:00 PM  
Blogger Holly pondered...

LOL! Too funny! I mean, it's funny because I'm reading about it, not living with it. ;)

6/22/2006 07:00:00 PM  
Blogger Dylan pondered...

LMAO, that IS funny...oh I'm laughing loud right now....hehe.

6/22/2006 07:58:00 PM  
Blogger Isabel pondered...

Tee hee, that is funny.

6/22/2006 10:59:00 PM  
Blogger ames pondered...

LMAO! Those pictures are hilarious too.

6/22/2006 11:24:00 PM  
Blogger CindyS pondered...

You realize that she might get you killed, right? Keep your distance ;)

CindyS (my mother only wishes she was Scarlett - she just went to the bitchy side and forgot the charming)

6/23/2006 04:38:00 AM  
Blogger Fickle Fiona pondered...

Well, let's make sure we keep DW and Scarlett far away from each other. I haven't even told you Scarlett's dog stories!

It was hard not to bust out laughing right there on the lot Dylan!

Glad you enjoyed Isabel.

LOL Ames. I especially like Bubba's.

Luckily Cindy, Scarlett can't use the computer. She bats her lashes and gets someone else to do her online bidding.

...Fiona...

6/23/2006 06:47:00 AM  
Blogger Kristie (J) pondered...

That is a riot LOL. Nothing like seeing a car dealer taken down!!

6/23/2006 08:25:00 AM  
Blogger Holly pondered...

OMG! DW and Scarlett together? I shudder at the thought. YIKES!

6/23/2006 01:18:00 PM  
Blogger Fickle Fiona pondered...

LOL Holly. We could think about joining forces and pitting them against the anit-christ. I'm afraid they might actually win! LOL

...Fi

6/24/2006 09:25:00 AM  

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